Wedding Weekend

This past weekend was crazy busy but was probably the best one I have had so far in Rwanda. 

It started out on a jammed packed bus at 7 am on Friday from my village to Butare, my regional town. I went to the civil wedding ceremony of a teacher at the local high school I had met once. Originally I was planning on having a relaxing morning before heading to my host family's wedding (the only one I was planning on going to that weekend) but my neighbor Bernadette is super persuasive. She also convinced me to go out for a beer my first week even though I had originally decided to not drink at site. She should really consider a career in politics, it really is impossible to say no to her. (Which is also the reason I am now eating two dinners, one I make, and another she makes for me. Apparently the phrase "I already ate, I'm not hungry" does not translate into kinyarwanda.)

Anyways, we arrived at the sector office with the wedding party at 8:55, five minutes before the start time of 9, which didn't really matter considering the official presiding over the ceremony did not arrive until 10:45. The ceremony itself was pretty short and informal, some vows were said (with your right hand in the air and the left holding the Rwandan flag) and they signed their marriage license. The real wedding will happen in another month (I'm sure ill be roped in to going to that too haha). We went back to someone's house for lunch, fantas, and speeches. I was finally able to get away at 2 to catch the bus to Kamonyi. Unfortunately they told me the next one with available seats wasn't until 4:30. I somehow managed to sweet talk my way onto the next bus, and got to my host family by 4:30. They were all super exited to see me, and the umukozi (worker boy named diogene) was probably the most excited and gave me a huge hug. It was definitely good to be back but also very weird to just be a visitor and not living there anymore. 

                                    

                                   

The bride and groom doing some lovely wedding poses

                                        

I was expecting some serious wedding preparations, and I was right. The compound was packed with workers cooking and cleaning and random family members. (Apparently here they call cousins their brothers and sisters, so I now probably have 50+ Rwandan "siblings"). Mama sat me down in the living room where I got to visit with guests until 10 pm. Every time one group would leave, another would show up. It was super exhausting because for whatever reason I was the only family member there so everyone wanted to talk to me. Tried to go to bed at 10, but was woken up at 11 to eat dinner (we had been waiting for the bride, Vestine, to come in from Kigali but the car had a problem so they said they weren't coming until the morning). 

Crashed in my twin bed with host sis Diane, and slept pretty well until 1 when my host brother and all the worker boys got access to a speaker and decided to blast music and have a dance party. Finally convinced them to turn it down, when at 3 am the Kigali family (including the bride) finally arrived. Mama made sure to get me so I could serve them tea and dinner. At 3. At that point I was so tried I couldn't see straight. Went back to bed (this time with Diane AND an 8 year old cousin I had just met. In the twin bed.) 

                                

   

Everyone was up by 5:30 preparing for the wedding, no idea how they did it. I slept till 7 and was still exhausted. The ceremony started around 10 and was the cultural ceremony. They set up a huge white tent on the front yard and had a church choir in matching outfits singing. Most of the guests (including me!) wore umushanana, which is the traditional dress for weddings and special occasions. It's basically a toga. A very bright, patterned toga. They are great. 

    

Host siblings! (Despite the faces im sure they were super excited to see me haha)

                                 

   

The first part of the ceremony was the representatives of each family debating over the dowry. In the past, the bride was worth a cow or two. Apparently Vestine is worth two bottles of coke, one of fanta, two hoes, and a sickle. That's what we call a clash of cultures. The groom and his groomsmen wore golden suits with embroidery and capes, they also held traditional carved walking sticks. The bride had a kind of sari like dress which I think is a nod to the Indian influence in East Africa. After they were done debating there was a formal procession, speeches (obviously), and a catered lunch. I almost cried when I saw they actually had salad. 

Groom hugging the father of the bride (my dad!). Fabulous outfits all around!

                                

                                    

     Nothing says true love quite like a liter and a half of coke!

After the ceremony was over the bride changed into her traditional white dress and the wedding party packed onto rented buses to go to the religious ceremony at a church in Kigali. It was very similar to the American version. After they exchanged rings, Vestine started crying which was very sweet. She had been very stoic all day (only in public, when she was getting ready in her room with the girls she was super smiley and excited). It's culturally taboo for Rwandans to show emotion so it was definitely a powerful moment for her. At 4 they were done with the religious ceremony and getting ready to head out to the reception. (If you have lost track, Rwandan weddings have 4 different ceremonies- luckily for me the civil ceremony had already been done a different day!) I left at that point to meet up with some PCVs in Kigali for the weekend. 

                                    

     

It was a long, long day (and even longer night) but I really enjoyed seeing the wedding. It was interesting to see how the traditional Rwandan values blended with more modern day takes on marriage. I'm sure there will be many more to come (Mama mentioned two more sisters are getting married next year!!) 

First two weeks at site

So I am writing this post by candlelight because although my house has electricity, it went out for no apparent reason last week and has not been fixed. (My village has it, only my compound has an issue. Typical.) This wouldn't be a big deal, because let's face it, I've been going to bed between 8:30 and 9 every night- except for the fact I bought a hot plate to cook. No electricity, no cooking. I also underestimated how much money I would need at site so the past few days have been somewhat stressful, trying to budget my money to make sure I had enough to get to my banking town. Thankfully my food situation was sorted out, after my neighbor realized I was living off PB & Js she invited me over for meals. Her name is Bernadette, she is 23 and a teacher at the secondary school near my house. She is awesome and we have been hanging out a lot. 

Most of my neighbors are young professionals who work at the school, a few work at the hospital or health center. They all speak English which is super helpful, although I make them speak to me in kinyarwanda (at least for a few min until I give up and ask for the translation haha). I'm part of a compound so all of our "houses" are connected into a row. We each have two rooms to ourselves. 

Work has been a little slow, I have been job shadowing some of my coworkers so have gotten to sit in on HIV/AIDS testing, prenatal exams, and family planning. It's been helpful to see what people do, but it's definitely hard for me to just sit and watch. After three months of training I'm ready to DO something, but that takes time. Right now I need to focus on learning the basics at my health center and improving my kinyarwanda. 

So site has been good for the most part. Not without it's challenges but I am lucky to have great neighbors and coworkers I get along with. It's a little weird living alone, I never have before and it's strange to have to depend on myself alone. (Finally got a charcoal stove today- cooked beans and rice and somehow managed to burn them both, mom would be proud of me following in her footsteps). But even when things go a little wrong, it just makes it that much more gratifying when you are able to work around it.  

For example, today I realized I had another jigger. In theory I'm supposed to go to Kigali to get the doctor to cut it out, but that just wasn't gonna happen. Got it out myself in with a swiss army knife and tweezers. Never would have thought I could do that, it did take me about an hour cause I had to give myself a few pep talks. Even though it wasn't a fun situation, I felt awesome afterwards that I was actually able to do it. 

So, lots of ups and downs. Fingers crossed for a productive work week!